How to Reduce Tantrums with the Montessori Approach

Why tantrums are part of development

Tantrums are one of the most searched topics by parents of young children — and for good reason. Between 18 months and 3 years, it is common for moments of intense frustration, crying, and more challenging behaviour to arise.

But there is something important to understand: a tantrum is not manipulation. It is communication.

The baby does not yet have enough language to express everything they feel. And when the emotion is greater than their capacity to manage it, the body responds. The Montessori approach helps us look at these moments with more clarity and less reactivity.

What is behind tantrums?

• Tiredness or hunger
• Overstimulation
• Lack of predictability
• Frustration from not being able to do something alone

How to prevent tantrums in daily life

Create a predictable routine

Routine provides security. When the baby knows what will happen next, they feel calmer and less reactive.

Prepare transitions in advance

Many tantrums happen during changes. Instead of interrupting abruptly, give a warning: "In a little while we will tidy up and leave."

Promote autonomy

When the baby can do small things alone, they feel more capable. Allowing them to choose between two simple options reduces conflict.

What to do during a tantrum

Stay present and calm

The adult is the emotional regulator. This is not the moment to teach or correct, but to be present.

Validate the emotion

Simple phrases make a difference: "I can see you are angry." This does not mean agreeing, but acknowledging the feeling.

Clear and firm limits

Montessori does not mean the absence of limits. If something is not allowed, the limit must be maintained with firmness and respect.

What to avoid

• Shouting or losing control
• Constantly distracting without validating the emotion
• Always giving in to avoid crying

A more conscious path

Reducing tantrums does not mean eliminating them. It means helping the baby develop internal tools to deal with emotions — and this is built with time, consistency, and relationship.